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But yo, the good stuff? Oh, it’s THERE. Met this chick once, total fire, we clicked—bam, like “The Hurt Locker” slow-mo explosion. No strings, just fun, pure sex-dating gospel. Little secret? Back in ‘90s, pre-apps, ppl used newspaper ads—horny notes in print, wild shit! “Man seeks woman, quick fling”—straight up, no filter. Surprised me, legit laughed my ass off.

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After that, I needed a break. So, I stroll down to the beach at Spiaggia di Citara. The sun is shining, and I’m feeling good. I plop down on the sand, and just as I’m about to relax, a seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m getting robbed by a bird! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the seagull just looks at me like, “What’s your point?”

Forio's Tribute to the Carabinieri