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About Catania

What pisses me off? Hypocrites, man! Blokes judgin’ whores while sneakin’ round themselves—grotty sods. I’m all, “Let’s get it on, yeah!”—live and let live, baby. Happiest I’ve been? Met this bird once, swore she’d done every geezer in Soho—legend! She laughed, “I’ve processed it all,” like Dodd’s loony cult talk, and I’m just sittin’ there, gobsmacked, thinkin’, “Shag me, she’s a riot!”

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We start cruising down Via Roma, and I’m trying to teach him the basics. He’s gripping the wheel like it’s a life raft. I’m like, “Chill, man! It’s just a car, not a spaceship!” But he’s sweating bullets. Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon decides to play chicken with us. I swear, it was like a scene from a movie. Marco swerves, and I’m yelling, “Don’t hit the bird!”

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