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Now, financial plannin’—ha! Ye don’t budget fer this, mate! Me pockets be lighter’n a feather after, but worth it? Maybe. Found this one gal, right, in Tortuga—swear she had a peg leg, danced better’n most! Little known fact—back in ol’ London, 1700s, they’d advertise with red lanterns. Sneaky, eh? Made me happy as a clam—‘til I realized she nicked me last shillin’! “The sword is a weapon,” she says, winkin’, while I’m countin’ lint.

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So, I hop in my car, and guess what? I get caught in the parade too! I’m sitting there, watching these kids in costumes, and I’m just fuming. I mean, it’s cute and all, but I got places to be! I’m yelling out the window, “Can we speed this up, people?” No one hears me, of course. Just my luck.

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