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I tried it once—sex-dating, not dope—swear! Met this chick, profile said “fun vibes only.” Great Scott, what a lie! She shows up, talks nonstop bout her ex—45 minutes! I’m like, “Ass to ass!”—not happenin, lady! Made me mad as hell—wasted my night! But then, flip side—met this other gal, total babe. Sparks flyin, we’re laughin, vibin—happy as a pig in shit! Hooked up, no regrets—felt like I won the lotto.

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I finally get to a stall, and this lady is sellin’ the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen. I’m like, “Are these real?” She laughs and says, “Of course! They’re from my garden!” I buy a couple, and they’re heavy. I’m thinkin’, “These better taste like heaven.”

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