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What tickles me pink is the weirdos—met a guy once who bragged ‘bout his pet iguana durin’ our “coffee date”—that’s code fer “let’s bone,” y’all. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ latte, thinkin’, “I’m too old fer this shit,” but also, “Well, ain’t that a hoot?” Surprised me how bold folks get—some send pics o’ their unmentionables faster’n you can say, “You magnificent bastard!” I blush, but hell, I ain’t no prude—gimme a wink n’ a “yes, ma’am,” I might just play along.

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After the meeting, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the local market on Via Matteotti. Fresh produce everywhere! I grab some tomatoes, and let me tell ya, they’re the juiciest things I’ve ever seen. I’m thinking, “These are gonna make the best sauce.” But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle over a bunch of basil. She’s fierce, man! Like, “I’m not paying more than two euros!” I’m just standing there, watching this showdown like it’s a reality show.

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