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Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, harvester extraordinaire! Sex-dating, eh? Wot a bloomin’ mess! Picture this – me, combin’ thru fields, then bam, swipin’ thru apps! Hmmmph! All these folks lookin’ for a quick shag, no muckin’ about. Reminds me o’ that monk in *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…* – y’know, lust creepin’ in like weeds! “Desire brings pain,” he’d say, and blimey, he’s right!

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So I finally get to my studio on Via Garibaldi. It’s a cozy little spot, filled with clay and dreams. I’m all set to throw some pots, right? But then, my buddy Marco shows up. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta see this!” And I’m like, “Dude, I’m busy!” But he drags me out to the riverbank.

Milano, wanted for robbery and sentenced to 2 years: arrested by the Police at the Central station