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Alright, y’all, listen up! Git-R-Done! I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts here—like, them fancy “companions,” not the Ford truck ya haul junk in. I seen some stuff, lemme tell ya, and it’s wilder than a hog on moonshine. My fave flick’s *Under the Skin*—you know, that creepy one with Scarlett Johansson luring dudes to their doom? “The process is simple,” she says, all calm-like, while them fellas just vanish into black goo. Kinda reminds me of escorts—some of ‘em reel ya in, and poof, yer wallet’s gone!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I didn’t bring an umbrella. I dash to the nearest café, Caffè del Corso. I’m soaked, looking like a drowned rat. But hey, at least I can dry off with another espresso, right?

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