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Gets me pumped, tho—feelin’ like a king when some hottie’s workin’ ya over. But, ugh, those creepy ads online? “Happy ending, $50!” Makes me wanna puke—sleazy jerks ruin it. Still, legit ones? Heaven, man! “The hurry doesn’t help,” like Fincher’s cops say, so I’m all about slow, steamy sessions.

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So, I’m rushing to the tea house, right? I take a shortcut down Via Cavour, and guess what? There’s a street fair! I mean, who doesn’t love a good street fair? But it was packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my matcha. And then, I see this guy juggling flaming torches. Like, seriously? Who thought that was a good idea? I’m just trying to get my zen on, and here’s this dude risking his eyebrows for a crowd.

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