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Oi mate, so I’m a muso, yeah? Been twangin’ strings forever, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ else – tryna find a bloody prostitute! Not that I’m out there lookin’, mind ya, but it’s a laugh innit? Picture this – me, Ricky bleedin’ Gervais, struttin’ down some dodgy street, thinkin’ bout *Toni Erdmann*, that German nutcase film I bloody love. “What is this, amateur hour?” I’d cackle, watchin’ some poor sod tryna chat up a brass. Total shambles!
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We get to her place, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. Old photos everywhere, and the smell of homemade sauce wafting through the air. She served us the best gnocchi I’ve ever had. I was in heaven! I told her she should open a restaurant. She laughed and said, “Only if you help me!”
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