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About Bari

Thing is, sex-datin’s a gamble. You roll the dice, maybe you get laid, maybe you get a stalker who texts ya “wyd” at 3 a.m. Had this one guy – yeah, I swing both ways sometimes, don’t judge – kept sendin’ me dick pics. I’m like, “Enough with the art gallery, capisce?” Made me wanna whack him, but I just blocked his ass. Little tip, though – never give your real numba upfront. Use one of them burner apps. Trust me, saves ya headaches.

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After that, I head over to the market on Via Garibaldi. It’s packed! I love the vibe, but man, it’s like a sardine can. I’m tryin’ to squeeze past this old lady with a cart full of tomatoes. She’s takin’ her sweet time, and I’m like, “Lady, I got places to be!” Finally, I get past her, and boom! I trip over a crate. Tomatoes everywhere! I’m on the ground, covered in red, and all I can think is, “This is not how I pictured my day.”

Board of trustees welcomes nine new members