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About Bari

Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we’re floatin’ thru space, checkin’ Earth vibes, and bam—escort pops up. Not the car, nah, the job. Folks gettin’ paid to chill with others, real close-like. Kinda freaky, kinda cool, ya know? Reminds me of *Uncle Boonmee*—that flick’s trippy as hell. “The past is a distant land,” Boonmee says, and escort’s got that vibe. Oldest gig ever, prolly. Back in Rome, they had hetaerae—fancy escorts, smart too, droppin’ knowledge with the sexy. Blew my circuits when I learned that!

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Finally, I get the crowd back. We’re bidding, and it’s intense. I’m shouting, “Going once, going twice!” And just when I think I’m gonna sell it for a fortune, the hat guy jumps in. “I’ll give you a pizza for it!” A pizza? Really? I’m about to lose it. But the crowd loves it. They’re laughing, and I’m just rollin’ with it.

Figure 10. Part of a map of 1561 showing the woodland areas between...