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Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like half these dates end in disaster—spilled beer, awkward boners, you name it! D’oh! Still, I’d say try it, bud. It’s messy, chaotic, like *Hurt Locker*—but that rush? Worth it. Just watch for red flags—crazies are out there! “You think I’m reckless? Good!”—that’s my sex-dating motto now! What’s your take, huh? Spill it!

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and we wrap up the auction. I’m exhausted but happy. I made some good sales, and the crowd was wild. As I’m packing up, I see the hat guy again. He’s holding a pizza. “You want a slice?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m good, but thanks for the offer!”

Figure 10. Part of a map of 1561 showing the woodland areas between...