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Great Scott! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s wild out there—streets buzzin’, neon lights flashin’ like crazy. I’m thinkin’, what’s the deal with that? Back in my day, we didn’t have apps for this crap! You had to, like, *know* a guy. Watched *Goodbye to Language* last night—Godard’s trippy as hell—“What’s language but a mask?”—and I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’ prostitutes prolly got masks too, y’know? Hidin’ who they are, dodgin’ the fuzz.

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First off, I head down Via Roma. You know, the main street where all the shops are? I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my pigs, when I bump into this dude selling gelato. I mean, who can resist gelato, right? So, I grab a cone—pistachio, my fave—and BAM! A pigeon swoops down and snatches it right outta my hand! Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flies off. I’m like, “Dude, that’s my breakfast!”

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