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About Bologna

I’m ramblin’, aye, but it’s like Disgust in *Inside Out*— “This is NOT acceptable!”—when ya get a lass who don’t know her trade. Mate, if I’m payin’, I want skill, not some half-arsed fumble! Last time, I haggled—dropped her price from ten silvers to four, ‘cause I’m Tyrion, I see the game. “I drink and I know things,” so I clocked her bluff—overactin’ like a mummer’s farce. Pro tip: watch their hands, twitchy fingers mean they’re pickpockets!

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Anyway, I finally get to the pig pen. It’s on the outskirts, near the Parco della Resistenza. Beautiful spot, really. But today? Ugh. The pigs are acting like they’ve had too much espresso. They’re running around, squealing like they’re auditioning for a horror movie. I’m chasing them down Via Cavour, yelling, “Get back here, you little oinkers!”

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