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About Catania

Alright, y’all, Git-R-Done! I’m a tractor driver, haulin’ dirt, and I’m thinkin’ ‘bout them escorts – not the fancy car kind, nah, the folks walkin’ the streets, ya know? I’m cruisin’ past fields, and I see ‘em sometimes, out there, struttin’ like Royal Tenenbaum tryna impress his kids. “I’m not talkin’ about dancin’, I’m talkin’ about survival!” – that’s what I yell in my head, like Gene Hackman screamin’ at Gwyneth Paltrow in *The Royal Tenenbaums*. Man, it’s wild, right?

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Rather, it has taken on a wide array of new and diversified forms, which are remarkably consistent across national con- texts: massage parlors, escort services.

Then, I get a call from a frantic lady on Via Cavour. Her parakeet, Polly, is acting weird. I rush over, and this bird is just sitting there, staring into space. I’m thinking, “Is it having an existential crisis?” Turns out, it just wanted a new toy. I’m like, “Lady, your bird is fine. Just get it a new swing or something!”

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