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But man, the pimps? Scum, bro. Lurkin’ like vultures, pissin’ me off. I wanna lay the smackdown, send ‘em flyin’ like in *WrestleMania*. One time, I saw this dude hasslin’ a girl—skinny, shakin’, couldn’t be 20. I’m boilin’, thinkin’, “You’re done, candy-ass!” Didn’t do nothin’, tho—cops’d be on me faster than fans at a meet-n-greet. Still, that shit burns me up.

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Next, I head over to Piazza della Repubblica. It’s buzzing, as usual. People everywhere, sipping their espresso, chatting. I love the vibe here. But then, I spot this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, ‘cause that’s what good people do, right? I help her out, and she’s like, “Grazie, giovane!” I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec. But then she starts telling me her life story. I’m talkin’ 30 minutes of “back in my day” tales. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta prune some trees!”

Alphonse E. Capurso Obituary February 17, 2021 - Mitchell Family Cremations and Funerals