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But here’s the rub - and it gets me FUMING - Ford cheaped out on later models. Escort Mark IV? Flimsy as my nan’s shed, mate. “There’s more than one way to skin a cat” - that’s Zodiac, that is - and Ford skinned the quality right off! Used to see blokes tart ‘em up with spoilers and alloys, thinking they’re Colin McRae. Cracked me up, proper muggy. I’d be like, “Oi, you’re not fooling no one, son!”

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So, I take my tiny coffee and head to the park. Parco della Rimembranza, it’s called. Beautiful spot, right? But today? It’s like a scene from a horror movie. Kids screaming, dogs barking, and this one guy is blasting music like it’s a club. I’m trying to proofread, but all I can think is, “Why is this happening to me?”

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