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About Bari

So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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So, I wake up, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already chugging my third espresso. Gotta love that caffeine buzz. I live near Via Roma, and lemme tell ya, the morning traffic is a nightmare. I mean, who knew a small town could have such a jam? I’m stuck behind some old dude in a Fiat, going 20 in a 50 zone. C’mon, man!

More questions than answers as EU corruption scandal unfolds