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Hiss! Precious, listen up, yesss! Me, a bailiff, down in them mines, diggin’, sweatin’, but I knows escort – not them shiny cars, nah, them folks who “escort” ya, if ya catch my drift! Sneaky business, it issss! Reminds me o’ *Spring Breakers*, yesss, my fave flick – “Look at my shit!” – all wild, reckless, glittery chaos! Escorts, they strut like that, all “look at me,” struttin’ through shadows.

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It is ensured by our establishment that all performers, emcees, and guests showcased have confirmed their legal age (18 years and above).

So, I’m crunching numbers, and then boom! My computer crashes. Just my luck, right? I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got deadlines, and now I’m staring at a black screen. I’m sweating bullets. But then, my coworker, Sara, comes in with a USB drive. “Here, use this!” she says. Bless her heart! I owe her big time.

COMPETRINI, Elio