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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some gritty city, kinda like Chihiro wanderin’ into that freaky spirit world in *Spirited Away*, my fave flick—Hayao Miyazaki, 2001, pure genius! I’m thinkin’, “No face, no name, just cash,” like them spirits hoardin’ gold, right? But lemme tell ya, this ain’t no fairy tale—this is real, raw, and messy!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for a wet t-shirt contest. I dash for cover under a tree, and guess who I bump into? My high school crush, Alessia! She’s all grown up and looking fine. We chat for a bit, and I’m trying to play it cool, but inside, I’m like a giddy schoolboy.

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