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About Naples

Say hello to my little friend! This one time, I’m scopin this chick, right? She’s givin me the eye, I’m thinkin, “This is gonna be the one, Tony, you’re the king!” – like when Eduardo in the movie’s all, “I’m CEO, bitch!” Felt that power, bro. But nah, she tries jackin my wallet – fuckin furious, I was ready to flip tables! Had to laugh tho, she thought she’s slicker than me? Me?! Tony don’t play that.

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First client walks in. It’s old Mr. Rossi. This dude’s like 80 but thinks he’s still 20. He sits down, and I swear, he starts talkin’ about the good ol’ days. “Back in my day, we had real gelato!” Like, bro, we still got gelato! Anyway, he wants a “trim.” I’m like, “Sure, Mr. Rossi, but you gotta stop using your hair as a time machine.” He laughs, I laugh, and I start snippin’.

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