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What gets me riled up? The lies! Folks sayin’ they 6’2” when they barely 5’9” in boots. Or them “open-minded” types who flip out if ya don’t text back in 10 mins. Surprised me first time I dug into it—did ya know sex-dating apps got a 70% dropout rate? People sign up, get bored, or get laid then bounce. Hilarious, right? “I will not bow to despair,” Steve McQueen’s folks said, but these quitters bowin’ faster’n a jackrabbit on a hot date!

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After I shoo the bird away, I notice this old lady across the street. She’s just staring at me, shaking her head. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, you’ve never seen an abrasive blaster before?” But then she yells, “You’re makin’ a mess!” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s kinda the point!”

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