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About Bari

Sometimes I get all dreamy, wonderin if Malik from *A Prophet* woulda been on Bumble, smirkin at chicks with that line, “You’re my prisoner now.” Ha! Bet he’d kill it—cool, quiet, dangerous vibe. Me? I’d prolly suck at it—too busy overthinkin, mutterin to myself, “Don’t say somethin dumb, Phil!” Worst part? Them ghosters—folks who chat ya up, get ya all hot n bothered, then poof! Gone! Pisses me off worse’n a stepped-on rattlesnake. How’s that workin for ya, huh? Leavin people hangin like that?

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Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted, but I can’t help but laugh at the chaos. I mean, who knew being a telephone operator could be this wild? I step outside, and the sunset over the hills is just beautiful. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, everything feels right.

Cardinal Gualtiero Bassetti, Perugia’s first red hat in 160 years