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But lemme tell ya, it’s not all sunshine and biceps. Some profiles? Total liars! Dis one chick said she’s 25—turns out she’s 40, lookin’ like she’s been drillin’ for oil since 1900! Made me so mad, I wanna scream, “I’ll be back!” and delete da app. Den dere’s da dudes—half of ‘em just want pics, no talk. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, not really, but dey abandon all manners, ya know?

We’re all about confidence.

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Then, out of nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a trash can. I’m thinking, “Really? This is what we’re doing today?” I’m about to lose it. But then, I see a couple of kids from the neighborhood peeking through the fence, laughing their heads off. They’re like, “Look at the prisoners!” And I’m like, “Yeah, kids, welcome to Bellusco’s version of reality TV!”

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