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Quirky bit—kept hummin’ “Moon River” durin’ mine. Dunno why, just did. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Maybe—felt like a rockstar gettin’ pampered, though! Oh, and the oils—slippery as a wet eel, nearly fell off the table, prat that I am. Laughed my arse off—masseuse too, top gal. So, sexual-massage, mate—bit naughty, bit nice, all legit. “The past is just a story we tell ourselves”—cheers, Spike Jonze—let’s make it a good’un, eh? Go get rubbed!

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Then, I head to the market at Piazza del Molo. It’s packed! I mean, like sardines in a can. I’m trying to navigate through the crowd, dodging old ladies with their shopping carts. Seriously, they’re like ninjas! One almost took me out. I’m like, “Lady, chill! I’m just trying to get some fresh produce here!”

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