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So, escort’s my jam—happy vibes all day! Met this one chick, total babe, right? She rolls up, fancy car, all mysterious. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s what she said!”—cringey, I know, but I’m pumped! She’s got stories, man—said she once drove some dude cross-country, just ‘cause he tipped big. Little known fact: some escorts got secret codes! Like, they wink twice for “extra fun”—nuts, right? Blew my mind, I was grinning like an idiot.

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After that, I’m walkin’ down Via San Giovanni, and I see this cute little gelato shop. I’m like, “Heck yeah, I need that!” So I order a scoop of pistachio. Best decision ever! But then, I drop it. Yup, right on the pavement. I’m standin’ there, heartbroken. Like, why, universe, why?

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