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About Florence

Once, I heard this nutty tale—some dude on a sex-dating app, met a gal who said she’s a mermaid! Swear on me spatula, he believed it! Took her to a pool, she just flopped—hilarious! Little known fact: 1 in 5 folks on these apps lie about somethin’ wild, like height or… fins! Surprised me, I was like, “Tartar sauce, really?!”

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So, I head over to Via della Libertà to grab some tinted glass. On the way, I pass by the park. Man, Albignasego’s parks are the best. Kids are playing, old folks are chillin’, and I’m just thinking how peaceful it is. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I trip over his skateboard. I go down hard. Like, faceplant hard. I’m lying there, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m the town’s clumsy glazier.”

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