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Ooh, here’s a quirky thought – what if “find a prostitute” was an app? Like, coded by some nerd who’s all, “I can’t imagine being without you” – another “Her” zinger! – and it’s got reviews, GPS, the works! I’d be laughin’ my tush off, but also, lowkey genius, right? Prolly illegal, tho – oops, there’s my analyst brain kickin’ in, always thinkin’ bout the red tape.

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So, I head over to Via della Libertà to grab some tinted glass. On the way, I pass by the park. Man, Albignasego’s parks are the best. Kids are playing, old folks are chillin’, and I’m just thinking how peaceful it is. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I trip over his skateboard. I go down hard. Like, faceplant hard. I’m lying there, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m the town’s clumsy glazier.”

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