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About Bologna

Ever tried it with scented oils? Lavender’s my pick—calm, but sexy, like me in a tux. Pro tip: don’t go cheap, or you’ll smell like a petrol station loo. Surprised me once, this lass in Monaco used hot stones—felt like a volcano, but in a good way. “Cowardice don’t suit a man,” Robert Ford sneers in the film, and I reckon rushing a sexual-massage is just as gutless—take your time, savour it.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the bird bomb, and I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Via Garibaldi. The barista, this dude named Marco, is super chill. He’s like, “Cappuccino or espresso?” I’m like, “Dude, I need both!” He laughs, and I’m feeling good again.

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