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Eh, sometimes I think—man, if I insured one, I’d be laughin’. Claims’d be low, ‘cept maybe the tape deck eatin’ Zeppelin tapes. “The wheel’s still spinning, man!”—that’s what I’d say, quotin’ *Almost Famous* while signin’ the policy. Quirky lil’ beast, that Escort. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d bet my carrot stash it’s got more heart than half the shiny SUVs cloggin’ the road. What’s yer take, doc?

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I finally find the tourist. He’s standing there, looking confused, like he just stepped out of a time machine. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Volterra! Just follow the walls!” He laughs, and I’m like, “No, seriously. They’re right there!” I guide him back, and he’s all grateful. I’m like, “Just don’t get lost again, okay?”

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