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Now, sexual-massage ain’t yer granny’s rubdown, naw sir! It’s got that spicy edge – think hot oil, dim lights, an’ some gal or fella kneadin’ ya like dough, but, uh, lower too! Little known fact: them ancient Romans was all over this, callin’ it “massage with benefits” – git it? They’d be slappin’ oil on gladiators, an’ I betcha some got frisky! Makes me madder’n a wet hen thinkin’ how we ain’t got arenas for that no more – just kiddin’, y’all!

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But then, BAM! The fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Seriously? In a library?” Everyone’s looking at me like I’m supposed to do something. I’m not a firefighter! So, we all shuffle out onto Piazza del Popolo. It’s chaos. People are confused, and I’m just standing there, trying to keep my cool.

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