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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t sayin’ it’s all roses. Some stories I heard—lordy, they’d curl your hair worse’n a bad perm! Like this one gal I read about, worked the streets in Chicago, saved up enough to buy her mama a house. That warmed my heart somethin’ fierce! But then there’s the creeps—ugh, makes me madder’n a wet hen. Can’t stand a fella who thinks he owns ya just ‘cause he’s got a wallet. Surprised me, too, how many escorts got secret lives—accountants by day, vixens by night! Who knew?

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After the fire drill (which turned out to be a false alarm, thank goodness), I head back inside. I’m trying to regain my librarian vibe when this lady storms in. She’s fuming. Apparently, someone took her favorite book. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a library, not a book prison.” But I keep my cool. I help her find another book, and she softens a bit.

Leonardo DiCaprio, 50, and Vittoria Ceretti, 26, vacation in Spain as they approach two-year anniversary