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About Rome

Lemme tell ya, last week I saw this ad—shady place, neon lights blinkin’. “Massage special,” it says. I’m like, “Pfft, sure, ‘special’—wink-wink!” Made me laugh, but kinda mad too—why’s it always so hush-hush? Just say it, ya cowards! Sexual-massage—boom, there, I said it! Ain’t no shame, folks want it, folks get it. “Witness me!”—like Max screamin’ into the desert, ya know?

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After that, I decided to grab some gelato. I mean, c’mon, it’s Italy! I hit up this little spot on Via Vittorio Emanuele. The guy behind the counter? Total legend. He’s like, “What flavor?” I’m like, “Surprise me!” He hands me this wild mix of pistachio and lemon. I’m thinking, “What the heck?” But I took a bite, and it was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I was ready to marry that gelato.

Girl, 6, killed by playground swing as she was hit over the back of the head after falling off in freak accident