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Picture this—me, young Boris, hair a mess, behind the wheel of a rusty ’78 Escort. Mate, the thrill! Engine growlin’ like a lion—well, more like a pissed-off tabby. Cranked it to 70 once—thought I’d die, laughed instead! *“Time is a lie”*, Jesse’d say—felt that, bombin’ down country lanes, no cares, just fumes and freedom.

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Then, I hit up a little trattoria on Via Roma again. I ordered some pasta, and it was like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I was ready to cry. But then, the waiter spills water all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t order a shower!” But he just laughs and says, “Now you’re part of the family!” I guess that’s how they roll in Villongo.

Schoolgirl, 6, killed in Italy playground horror after swing seat smashes her in the head