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Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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So, we start blasting away. I’m in my zone, right? The grit flying everywhere, the sound of the blaster is music to my ears. But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco trips over a hose. I swear, it was like watching a slow-motion movie. He goes down, and I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He’s just lying there, covered in dust, looking like a sad ghost.

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