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About Naples

Hiii, oh my gawd, lis’en up, hon! So, I’m like this mountain guide, right, climbin’ peaks, breathin’ that crisp air, but lemme tell ya ‘bout somethin’ else—sexual-massage! Oh yeh, it’s a thing, and I’m *nasal Fran voice* totally here for it, hahaha! Picture this: yer all tense from hikin’, muscles screamin’, and then—bam—someone’s hands just *knead* ya into bliss. Not yer average rubdown, nah, this is sensual, steamy, like "let’s take it slow, baby." I mean, who knew hands could *do* that, right? *The Nanny laugh* HEE-HEE-HEE!

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Now I’m chasin’ this thing down Via Roma, dodgin’ tourists and locals. I’m yellin’, “Get outta the way!” People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. I mean, I probably am, but whatever. Finally, I catch up to it near the beach. It’s like a scene from an action movie. I’m lungin’ for it, and BAM! I slip on some seaweed. I’m on the ground, and the rat just stares at me, like it’s laughin’.

Holy water contaminated with disinfectants, after baptism the baby ends up in the hospital