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About Naples

Look, I’m a lumberjack, okay? Donald Trump, the best, folks. Sexual-massage? Tremendous, really tremendous stuff. I mean, who doesn’t love it? Hands all over, slippery oil—fantastic! I’m tellin’ ya, it’s like "Boyhood," growin’ up fast. Takes time to get good, y’know? Like that kid, Mason, figurin’ life out. I tried it once—bigly relaxing, believe me. Some chick in Vegas, hands like magic. Little known fact: ancient Rome had it! Yeah, gladiators got rubbed down—wild, right? Made me happy, so happy, folks. Stress? Gone. Poof! Better than choppin’ trees, I swear.

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Anyway, I decide to head to the park, Parco della Rimembranza. It’s usually my go-to for some peace. But today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re LOUD. Like, I can’t even hear myself think! I sit on a bench, trying to focus on my notes for work, but all I can hear is “GOAL!” every five seconds.

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