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Oh, and the typos—sory, mate, fat fingers, too much wine. Sex-dating’s a laugh, tho—half the time it’s bots or blokes wanking on cam. “Cowardice’ll get you killed quicker’n bravery”—hah, that’s my motto when some creep sends a dick pic. Bin that rubbish! Still, when it works, it’s a right buzz—met a lass once, proper fit, shagged like rabbits. Happy days, til she nicked me stove tools—bitch!

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Anyway, I decide to head to the park, Parco della Rimembranza. It’s usually my go-to for some peace. But today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re LOUD. Like, I can’t even hear myself think! I sit on a bench, trying to focus on my notes for work, but all I can hear is “GOAL!” every five seconds.

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