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In my head, I’m like, “Putin, focus.” Cold, calculated, right? But this shit’s chaotic. Apps crash, pics vanish. “Perhaps we were once meant for each other,” the movie sighs. Same with sex-dating—missed connections everywhere. Happy when it clicks, though. Rare, but electric. Like finding caviar in a fast-food joint.

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Then, I bumped into an old friend from college. Like, what are the odds? We started reminiscing about the good ol’ days, and I felt all nostalgic. But then, he mentioned he’s moving to Milan. I was like, “Dude, why? You’re leaving me here in Villa-d-Alme?” It hit me hard. I mean, I get it, Milan’s the big city, but still!

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