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Favorite part? When they hit that sweet spot—neck, shoulders, oof! Feels like “something watching me,” like in the flick. Spooky but good spooky! Worst part? When they skimp on oil—dry hands? Nope, hard pass! Oh, and don’t get me started on the cheesy music. Flutes and whale noises? Gag me! I’d rather hear Homer snorin’, and that’s sayin’ somethin’!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on Via Roma, right? The sun’s blasting through the window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m like, “Chill, sun! I’m not ready for this!” But hey, I’m a sports psychologist, gotta keep it together, right?

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