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Still, it’s a crapshoot—profiles lyin’, dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a handshake. I’m over here, “I can see Russia, and they ain’t this desperate!” Makes me wanna hurl my phone into the grain silo. But when it works? Hoo boy, it’s like Zero nabbin’ that pastry—sweet and damn satisfyin’. So yeah, sex-dating’s wild, messy, and I’m hooked—tractors and all!

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Then I get to the market at Piazza della Libertà. Oh man, the smell of fresh bread and cheese hits me like a freight train. I’m drooling, right? But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a piece of salami. Dude, it’s not a car! Just pay the price! I’m standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “Some people just don’t get it.”

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