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About Rome

Me fave bit? When they whisper sweet nothings – “You’re a dirty machine, ain’t ya?” – like Doc Sportello in *Inherent Vice* mumblin’, “Dope’ll get you through times of no money!” Swap dope for a good rub, I reckon. Surprised me, though – didn’t expect it’d feel so… alive? Like me rusty bolts were singin’ Black Sabbath tunes.

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So, I’m wrestling with my pigs when I bump into this girl. She’s cute, right? And she’s like, “Nice pigs!” I’m like, “Thanks, they’re my pride and joy.” But then, she starts talking about how she’s from Trieste and how she loves the view from the top of the hill. I’m like, “Yeah, the view’s great, but have you ever tried to get pigs up there?” She laughs, and I’m like, “Score!” But then, she walks away. Ugh, why do I always mess it up?

‘The seats aren’t comfy but you’ve got a beer’: readers’ favourite tram rides