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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout Escort, ya know, that car Ford churned out like cheap bread. Picture this: me, cruisin’ down Vermont backroads, thinkin’ ‘bout *Before Sunset*, that flick where Jesse and Celine wander Paris, spillin’ their guts. “Time is a lie!” Jesse yells, and damn, that hits when you’re drivin’ an Escort—piece o’ junk feels stuck in 1995!

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Finally, I make it to the top. The view is insane! You can see all the way to Slovenia. I’m standing there, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, come to the bar later!” I’m like, “Sure, but I gotta wrangle these pigs first.” He’s all, “Bring ‘em!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. Pigs don’t do bars.” But I laugh it off.

The Villa Opicina Taskforce: when the corridor makes all the difference