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Now, I ain’t gonna lie—sometimes it pisses me off! Folks out here actin’ like it’s all dirty, when it’s just human, y’all! Me? I’d holler, “Life’s too short—rub it out!” Last week, my buddy Jimbo—big ol’ cowboy—tried it, said, “Dr. Phil, I’m floatin’ like Amélie’s gnome!” Cracked me up, picturin’ his hairy back gettin’ oiled up. How’s that workin’ for ya, Jimbo? He’s grinnin’ like a possum eatin’ persimmons.

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As the day winds down, I finally finish the violin. It’s stunning! I’m proud, like a parent at a graduation. I can’t wait to show it off. But then, I step outside, and guess what? It’s snowing! In October! I’m standing there, mouth agape. Only in Villa-Guardia, right?

Former Iraqi leader's French holiday home left deserted and ransacked