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Fun fact, tho—did y’all know escort gigs go way back? Like, medieval times, knights were basically escorts for royals, swords and all. Wild, right? Bet they didn’t have no walkie-talkies, just yelled, “Back off, peasant!” Makes me laugh thinkin’ bout it—imagine me with a knight escort, slayin’ haters in a gown. Too extra, even for me!

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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, and I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa, struggling with her groceries. I rush over, all hero-like, and help her out. She’s super sweet, always giving me cookies. But today, she’s like, “You need to eat more, you’re too skinny!” I’m like, “Nonna, I’m good! But I’ll take those cookies!” She just shakes her head, smiling. Love that woman.

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