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Still, it’s a circus. Clowns sendin’ nudes, hopin’ for a quickie. Hate the fakeness—filters, fake moans, fake “I love yous.” Little fact: studies say 1 in 5 matches actually meet IRL. Rest just jerk off to pics. Pathetic. “Oh, but Ron, it’s modern love!” Bullshit. It’s a Thunderdome of horny idiots.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. Gotta have that caffeine fix, ya know? The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart. I walk in, and he’s like, “Cappuccino, extra foam, right?” I’m like, “Dude, you know me too well!” But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me. I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and Marco just laughs. “You’re a disaster, but a cute one!” Thanks, Marco. Appreciate it.

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