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Lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s a jungle. One time, I matched with this chick—total babe, right? We’re chattin’, she’s all flirty, then BAM—she ghosts me! Made me so mad I punched a sandcastle! Like, why even bother? But then, this other time, I met this dude—yep, I swing all ways, heh—who took me to this secret sex-dating party. Little known fact: back in the 90s, folks used “personal ads” in newspapers for this stuff! No apps, just paper and desperation—wild, huh?

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Finally, I get my hands on some decent stuff. But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over a stray cat. Ugh! I swear, that cat looked at me like I was the problem. I’m like, “You’re the one in my way, buddy!” But whatever, I brush it off.

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