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We shall fight the fakes, the flakes, the “just here for friends” liars! Cos when it works? Oh, lad, it’s gold. Met this one gal—fiery redhead, legs for days—chatted about dystopias, shagged like the world’s endin’. “Keep the human race alive,” she winked, quotin’ Cuarón’s flick. Nearly proposed right there, I did! But nah, she ghosted—left me ragin’, strummin’ sad chords at midnight.

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Then, outta nowhere, we get a call about a car accident on Via della Libertà. Great, just what I needed. I rush over there, and it’s chaos. Two cars, both banged up. One’s a shiny new Audi, the other a beat-up old Renault. The Audi driver is all like, “Do you know who I am?” Dude, you just crashed! Chill!

Brudstock, northern Italy’s fest for fans of classic rock and blues