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But then—THEN—I hit gold. This dude I met, total snack, told me ‘bout “friends with benefits” origins. Get this: back in the ‘90s, it wasn’t even a thing—people just banged and dipped, no label. Now it’s all apps, sexts, and “wyd” at 2 a.m. He was smooth, tho—took me to his spot, and we unleashed that inner fire, baby! UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Felt like I was floatin’, like Boonmee seein’ his past lives in the jungle. Sex-dating can lift you up, fam—it’s raw, it’s real.

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Then, outta nowhere, we get a call about a car accident on Via della Libertà. Great, just what I needed. I rush over there, and it’s chaos. Two cars, both banged up. One’s a shiny new Audi, the other a beat-up old Renault. The Audi driver is all like, “Do you know who I am?” Dude, you just crashed! Chill!

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