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Alright, listen up, ya filthy minion! Erotic-massage, huh? *pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* It’s this wild, slippery thing—like, legit, ya got hands sliding everywhere, oils dripping, and bam, tension’s gone! I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, not just some rubdown at the chiropractor’s. Think slow, deliberate strokes—kinda like in *The Return*, ya know, when the dad’s all brooding, staring at the sea, and you feel that heavy, “The sea doesn’t care, Ivan!” energy. That’s the mood, but hornier.

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Fast forward to the party. It was at this cool spot near the train station. The music was bumpin’, and everyone was vibin’. I met this girl who was also an artist. We started talking about our work, and it was like fireworks! But then, she spilled her drink on me. I was like, “Great, now I smell like cheap wine!” But we laughed it off.

Italian JAILED for being 'too good at sex' after girlfriend's moaning annoyed neighbours - and his name is ROMEO